Listen to Me! For I am the Possessor of Experience!

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Listen to Me! For I am the Possessor of Experience!

Apparently the 'hip' thing to do is to write a blog post giving advice to the class of 2010, and with any luck about .7% of the graduating class will red this. I had to get in and make this posting while it was still trendy, and before it becomes uncool (when Casey posts one). As an expert on college, having attended one (1) year of undergrad at one (1) university, I feel uniquely qualified to tell you how to live your life.

So, my gentlest phrases of encouragement and wisest words of wisdom shall follow:

I'm really not too concerned about you guys going to college. In fact, I think you'll all be fine (well, not everyone, but the approximate .7% who see this). It's an adjustment, sure, but you're prepared for it. Your roommate will probably annoy you, you might get addicted to facebook, you'll have to be sneakier about when and where you masturbate, and all sorts of fluids will go in and come out of you. You may also find that you are attracted to some of your other classmates, and this is perfectly natural. A slight tingling sensation in your private region signifies only that you are becoming a man/woman (you can choose which!).

Classes are whatever and whatnot. You'll be fine, you know that. Do try to befriend a prof or two though, that's really worth it. I guess it's worth reminding that your friends for the first month or two of college are temps, and that you shouldn't expect those first few weeks to include finding your best friends at college. It's pretty likely that you won't find your best college friends in your first year at all. But go out, try to meet people, all that shit everyone's told you forever.

I've done my own laundry since 7th grade so fuck Alex and Drew for including that in their posts. I dropped 10 pounds in my first two months at JMU. I never really put it back on, either. So I don't know what to say about the freshman fifteen.

Anyways, the more important things I have to say relate to East. Comparison is something I think you should reject, because there's no better/worse talk to be had. East and your college are different and that's all there is to say. Remembering your pre-college life can be very helpful during the tough times, but dwelling on the past is a bad idea. I've done too much of it, myself. I do think, if you have a favorite teacher, that you should stay in touch with them at college through email or something. Keep in touch with next years' seniors if you can. But just try to let it all go. Senior year instills in you an instinct to look at big pictures, to sum everything up. In college you're better off not thinking about your life as a whole and just focusing forward. Try to make the phrase 'I've done things I'll never do again' into a mantra that isn't depressing. You will probably get a whole new perspective on life, your life, the world, your relationships, etc. but know that this perspective is just as bullshit as the one you used to have.

Lastly, and MOST IMPORTANTLY OF ALL, don't take advice from anyone in college very seriously. Everyone's experience is different, and people fresh out of their first year are hungry to prove just how different they are. There's a big competition to become as college-focused as possible and a large part of it involves giving high schoolers condescending advice. We don't really know better than you do.


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Listen to Me! For I am the Possessor of Experience! :: Comments


Post on Thu Jun 10, 2010 4:44 pm by strangerthanfiction

Dude, I've done my own laundry since I was about twelve, but the fact remains that I know guys who are like, "sniff sniff clean sniff." And it's gross.

Other than that I agree with everything you say, except I gained weight at UofL because every fucking thing on campus is fast food D:

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Post on Fri Jun 11, 2010 1:22 am by The Prez

Our former Chancellor kicked all fast food restaurants off campus.

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Post on Fri Jun 11, 2010 9:59 am by strangerthanfiction

Lucky. We're stuck with Wendy's, the worst Papa John's ever, and Subway, which seem to be the three that are open all the time. Chick-fil-A opens for lunch, but even though it's the "healthiest" fast food out there, it still sucks.

I live on vegetarian sushi (okay, other kinds too) because everything else is covered in cheese. All the ready-made sandwiches and salads in the grab & go area? CHEESE. CHEESE. CHEESE. WHAT THE FUCK.

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