FRESHMAN YEAR

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FRESHMAN YEAR




I know I did a Year in Review Note in December, but I think I'm going to write one just about how odd my first year of college which ends in one week was...

AUGUST:
-My first (and presently only) visit to a frat house. I could simply not do a fraternity
-I faked being drunk in order to avoid people giving me alcohol
-I became addicted to Sporcle
-I started talking on a regular basis to Holly, Wachob, and Alex
-I found out my roommate was a slob
-I began the History Club of the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign
-I found out my Anthropology professor was a total bitch

SEPTEMBER:
-My Anthropology professor turns out to be a lover of animal porn in addition to being a total bitch
-I began calling a kid in four of my five classes Fedora Kid (he's everywhere)
-My roommate used my desk for beer pong while I was gone for Labor Day
-My roommate continued to be a total slob
-Vomit, vomit, everywhere
-SWINE FLU!
-My roommate throws a party that is so raucous (he pissed off the balcony) that the whole suite is threatened with a fine
-The President of the University of Illinois System Resigns

OCTOBER:
-My Anthropology professor not only is a total bitch who loves animal porn, but an idiot for sleeping in the same bed with her INFANT CHILD!
-I begin to feel pity for my roommate and begin to get really pissed at my suitemate Pete
-More vomit
-Night of the Random Person on the Floor
-Midterms
-It rained like every day
-The Chancellor of the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign resigns

NOVEMBER:
-The Grad Students go on strike and classes are cancelled
-My Anthropology professor is not only a lover of animal porn, a total bitch, and a not smart mother, but also to be a union organizer who has been arrested twice
-I begin recording down the dumb things Pete says
-My roommate finally becomes so tolerant of alcohol that he no longer vomits

DECEMBER:
-Finals
-Pete and Casey have the gaul to party during exams
-Matt Rubin flirts with Allison

JANUARY:
-I epically fail at making a movie plus Matt Rubin AND my brother BOTH flirt with Holly (ALL IN THE SAME DAY!)
-My roommate drunk calls his ex-girlfriend and invites her down to campus
-My roommate's ex girlfriend turns out to be nice and Alex totally ignores her
-I find out that my roommate used to be a nerd, lied about playing football (he played soccer), and never went to Cook County Jail (although he did go to the Village Police Station featured in the movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off)
-My roommate decides to start pledging for a frat
-My roommate has his final cleanup of his side of the room to date
-My roommate pisses on the floor for the first time
-My suitemates apparently smoke crack
-I get really pissed off at my suitemates and wrote three crazy blog entries where nothing made sense

FEBRUARY:
-My roommate pisses on the floor for the second time
-Casey pisses me off now because he begins acting like a jerk
-I get disconnected from the wireless internet by Casey
-A hobo on campus scares me shitless
-Under parental pressure, peer pressure, etc I invited Matt to Wisconsin for my birthday and heavily regretted it later
-I begin to regret having decided to room with Matt for next year when he turns out to be an anti-environmentalist, awkward (like he doesn't even wait for me to answer when he knocks on my door to see if he can come in and he will just stand there and look at my Facebook and ask me who people are on my news feed, like WHAT THE FUCK?), and way too vengeful
-I begin a diary

MARCH:
-Unofficial
-Alanna Graves saved the world by becoming Treasurer of History Club
-Matt continues to bitch
-Alec decides to go to the University of Wisconsin at Milwaukee rather than directly enter the armed forces
-I pulled an all-nighter to write "Rushalee Cade"
-Midterms
-I went to San Francisco and discovered why California is a place to visit and not a place to live. I also went exploring the sites of "Vertigo" with Allison

APRIL:
-My roommate begins three weeks of all night cleaning sessions at his frat
-I write "Eulogy for the Living" during Script Frenzy and I WIN
-I probably freak out way too much about Matt, especially when he decides to yell at Pete and Casey one night
-John Paul Stevens retires Sad
-There is a meteor in Wisconsin and Matt Ziemba ruins everyone's fun by taking my Facebook status and comments about 2012 seriously and telling us all he makes it his goal to stop people freaking out because he used to freak out and then goes over about 10 ways the world is more likely to end
-I had a really bad allergy season (still happening, but not as bad)
-I had a seizure
-My roommate robs a fabric store for his frat
-I went to Springfield
-We are under like 10 Tornado Watches and get 0 Tornado Warnings
-My roommate acknowledges to a friend that he is an alcoholic
-My roommate starts to chew... and smoke...

MAY:
-My roommate has his most drunken night ever. After drinking for 14 hours straight he comes home at 7 AM smelling like shit, misses a final exam (why would you drink for 14 hours before a final?), blames his not setting an alarm clock for missing the exam
-I decide which newspapers to keep from the schoolyear
-Finals
-I get to go home FINALLY!


Last edited by The Prez on Thu May 06, 2010 2:15 pm; edited 5 times in total
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The Prez

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FRESHMAN YEAR :: Comments

Post on Tue May 04, 2010 3:45 pm by starryeyedwriter

Drew Hanna. you make my day. and I can honestly say you had one hell of a freshman year. I wish I remembered enough of my year to write something like this. but it is just not that noteable. maybe after finals I shall attempt.

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Post on Tue May 04, 2010 3:54 pm by AgentW

not enough dinosaurs

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Post on Tue May 04, 2010 4:06 pm by J-Mads

While I agree 100% with Casey, I very much enjoyed this post. In fact, I think I'll attempt to do one of my own in its style although I doubt my memory is that good.

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Post on Tue May 04, 2010 4:34 pm by AgentW

I only browsed it before Luke made a post, but I now went back to read it, and my conclusion still stands that there aren't enough dinos.

you also make me seem like a terrible person in it. Sad

fun year.

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Post on Tue May 04, 2010 8:38 pm by strangerthanfiction

The funny thing is that I remember most of this as it happened.
I second Holly's statement of you making my day.

Also there was a moment earlier where something happened and I thought of you, but I can't remember what it was, because I remember looking at grass shadows.

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Post on Tue May 04, 2010 9:16 pm by The Prez

It is sad that the name of the great Casey Gordon is used by the fake Casey Barnash of this note. DINOSAURS!

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Post on Tue May 04, 2010 9:20 pm by AgentW

The Prez wrote:It is sad that the name of the great Casey Gordon is used by the fake Casey Barnash of this note. DINOSAURS!

Hi, I'm casey gordon, and I support this post.

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